It’s 2016 and I thought I could try to maintain control over my depression but it will always find a way to creep up behind me. I don’t know how long I can keep up this fight and I feel as though as I am losing control. I am keeping things bottled up but the depression will keep coming back and I will fall back into my old habits of sell-hate and thoughts of suicide. So far, I haven’t attempted to cut myself but I attempted to chop my hands off when my new Flipz headphones stopped working. I thought it was because I destroy everything I touch.
I am still trying to fight off these urges of harming myself even though I made my New Years’ Resolution to try and rid myself of my depression forever. That’s why I’m going to therapy next month. When I talk to my therapist, who is named Lisa, I tell her that I have been battling depression since I was a teenager and it has gotten worse as I grow; I’ll say that I have attempted to harm myself on occasions where things don’t go my way and I couldn’t handle it.
I might even have to go to a preacher to confess about my failed suicide attempts which landed me in the hospital on a few occasions. I might even say that I believe that depression is a demon, since I think it could be a demon in a sense.
What I am saying is that I need help with my battle with depression.