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Need I insert a big sigh right now? It seems that we as a society has gone full retard here; I mean we have a bunch of whiney little assholes who want to claim superiority over everything. Ain’t that crazy? I’m talking about these so-called social justice warriors who think they’re standing against oppression but they’re just acting like a bunch of immature little brats, shouting obscene comments without any sense of logic, arguing bullshit, and they don’t even know how to shut up. These social justice warriors have become quite infamous for their idiotic, childish behavior which they’ve brought upon themselves. Social justice warriors give out death threats, vandalize property, demand equal rights, display absolute hatred toward their fellow men, disrupt people with a different opinion, act rude to almost everyone for no apparent reason, and they try to enforce their beliefs onto others. But that’s only the tip of the iceberg. Let’s start off with what it means to be a social justice warrior.

The term of social justice warrior, according to Wikipedia, refers an individual who promotes social progression such as “feminism, civil rights, multiculturalism”, and political identification. According to the Urban Dictionary, social justice warriors, or SJWs, are people with “paper thin skin who always find something to be offended about.” They’re usually young adults whose mentality is somewhat reactionary with little to no knowledge of certain principles such as politics,  entertainment, psychology, economy, and social science. Now, let’s talk about how rude they can be. If you are to offer up your viewpoint on societal issues such as feminism or gender equality, these SJWs would proceed to counter your argument by cussing you out. Typical thing for such bratty behavior, am I correct? You can try and explain your logic towards these people, but they’ll think you’re being an oppressor. Most of their favorite insults would include such terms as racist, misogynistic, homophobic, and rapist. I mean by God, can’t these people come up with better insults? Personally, I really think it sounds a bit too hypocritical in a sense that these social justice warriors are spreading hatred when they should be fighting against it. I would like to talk about the personality of SJW’s altogether, but the problem is they have no personality. The only thing I know about social justice warriors is that they are self-righteous, obnoxious, ignorant morons who refuse to listen to reason and try to claim dominion over equal rights when they actually causing more problems than they could let on. Don’t get me wrong. I am all for equality but these people take their beliefs to the extreme by sending out death threats, as I’ve stated before. They also like to call people out for being misogynistic and sexist over how certain diversities are portrayed in the media; and most of that is directed towards the people who work within the entertainment industry. And I’ll get to that later on.

Another thing I’d like to talk about is that social justice warriors are way too overprotective over how women, gays, and other ethnic groups are portrayed in film, television, video games, comic books, and other forms of media. If you portray a female character as a love interest or a sex symbol, these social justice warriors will throw a fit. If you portray an ethnic person as a bad guy or a secondary character, they’ll throw a fit. If you make a gay person a comic relief character or another secondary character, they will throw a fit. According to a social justice warrior, everything has to be politically correct all the time; in a sense, everything has to go their way, no one else’s. Honestly, I highly doubt that actual feminists, political activists, people from different ethnic groups, and the LGBT would condone this sort of behavior. As I said before, I am all for equal rights and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, I support feminism, I support gay rights, I support diversity, and I support equality. However, I cannot stand these idiotic social justice warriors who claim they’re fighting for change when in reality, they’re only screwing things up with their senseless banter over wanting to be treated equal. They yell at authoritarian figures, they cuss out political speakers just because they have a different perspective on society which sounds more intelligent than what SJW’s preach, and they call anyone who is a Caucasian, heterosexual male a misogynistic, racist, homophobic rapist. Let’s not forget that they send death threats to people who work within the entertainment industry, especially the game industry. I mean, seriously?! What kind of person who calls video game developers sexist over the design of a female character? What kind of person who accuses the music industry for objectifying women and then refer to it as rape culture? And lastly, what kind of person would send death threats to a comic book publication company over a simple comic book cover? Why these social justice warriors haven’t been banned from the internet and public gatherings is beyond me. The system is doing a really shitty job at what they do and I don’t know why social justice warriors continue to be around. Everyone is tired of their pointless banter and SJW’s don’t even stand for actual social issues in the world.

And let’s not forget about the hypocrisy of these so-called SJW’s. For instance, there was this social justice warrior dubbed Triggly Puff who attended a speaking event about free speech and throughout the entire event, she heckled the presenter, claiming that he or she was promoting hate speech. During her little banter, this special snowflake got called out for her idiotic behavior when she demanded to not be treated like children and the irony of this ordeal was that she was acting like a child. Now here’s where hypocrisy plays into effect when it was revealed that Triggly Puff is a radical leftist who believes in anti-capitalism, Anarcho-communism, feminism, and body positivity. But this is one individual, so let’s not assume that all SJW’s are obnoxious, idiotic nutjobs who like to present themselves in the most asinine way possible. Oh wait, most of them are like that. But why do they act like a bunch of immature children? Could it be that these people never received any maternal attention from their parents? You know that almost sounds like it’s the case with these people. Why else would they act like a bunch of spoiled brats who demand everyone to follow their orders?

According to an article by Laura Perrins of The Conservative Woman, the National Institute of Child Health and Development conducted studies in April of 2001, linking “non-maternal care for young children” to “aggressive behavior”. She even stated that  the “current college generation” in the 90’s where daycare has been prevalent around that time period. So, I guess it’s safe to say that these social justice warriors are practically overgrown toddlers who just want attention. Then again, I suppose that’s almost every millennial nowadays.

Now honestly, I would say that these social justice warriors would chicken out after somebody calls them out for their bullshit because they’re nothing but a bunch of whiny pansies who can’t accept constructive criticism. The point of constructive criticism is to help someone, not hurt him or her; however, a social justice warrior wouldn’t know the difference between constructive criticism and outright bashing. In fact, they will act like a crybaby over the simplest degree of criticism, especially if it’s meant to help them improve on how they act towards others. I know a bunch of people who act more like adults than these people. Hell, I have a 12-year-old niece as well as a 9-year-old cousin who are more mature than these SJW’s and I don’t feel guilty about saying that. Social justice warriors are basically nothing but a bunch of rude, obnoxious, ungrateful brats who need to leave the internet and never come back or at least until they have straightened their attitudes as well as being accepting of tolerance. That’s all I can say about these people.

Work Cited

http://www.conservativewoman.co.uk/laura-perrins-daycare-generation-are-now-the-students-throwing-tantrums-over-safe-spaces/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_justice_warrior

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=social%20justice%20warrior

 

It’s 2016 and I thought I could try to maintain control over my depression but it will always find a way to creep up behind me. I don’t know how long I can keep up this fight and I feel as though as I am losing control. I am keeping things bottled up but the depression will keep coming back and I will fall back into my old habits of sell-hate and thoughts of suicide. So far, I haven’t attempted to cut myself but I attempted to chop my hands off when my new Flipz headphones stopped working. I thought it was because I destroy everything I touch.

I am still trying to fight off these urges of harming myself even though I made my New Years’ Resolution to try and rid myself of my depression forever. That’s why I’m going to therapy next  month. When I talk to my therapist, who is named Lisa, I tell her that I have been battling depression since I was a teenager and it has gotten worse as I grow; I’ll say that I have attempted to harm myself on occasions where things don’t go my way and I couldn’t handle it.

I might even have to go to a preacher to confess about my failed suicide attempts which landed me in the hospital on a few occasions. I might even say that I believe that depression is a demon, since I think it could be a demon in a sense.

What I am saying is that I need help with my battle with depression.

Here is my year in review. Over the course of this year, I have been through an endless series of misfortune and there were times in which I wanted to end my suffering. Ever since the start of the year, I was plagued with bad luck throughout and my depression started to get the best of me. There were moments in which I wanted to take my life because I didn’t feel I was worthy enough to live. I felt as though I didn’t deserve to live.
As I said, there have been several incidents in which I wanted to kill myself; for instance, on March 13, 2015, I tried to commit suicide by attempting to get myself run over by a moving car and I was escorted to the hospital via police cruiser. That was just the tip of the iceberg, I even posted about my incident a week later, stating that the devil wanted me to take my life so that I can reunite with my late friend, Charlotte, in hell.
And if you think that was bad enough, I have had a difficult time trying to adjust to college. I had financial issues that needed to be paid, I had to get my grades up in order to keep my Financial Aid, and I was swindled out of money that I don’t actually have.
I was friend zoned by my crush, most of my friends are getting married, having babies, and living good lives; I’m still going to a community college via public transportation and I still can’t keep my head above water. I’m 24 years old, I still live my mother, I have no wife, no girlfriend, and I have no job.
However, there were some good things that came out of this year. I have attended to the Phoenix Comic Con for three days, I even got to meet other cosplayers who liked to play dress up, and I even got a few good stuff.
Nevertheless, I still have battles with my depression and there were even times where I contemplated suicidal hater for myself; I even tried attempting suicide on several occasions. I thought about cutting myself with an exacter knife each morning or I thought about hanging myself on the bridge in Wellton. I had to watch a lot of suicide stories to dissuade myself from going through with my attempts.
That’s when I realized that there are other people just like me who are faced with this problem, especially on social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. I have been getting messages from bloggers on WordPress about my articles and some have been inspirational since these were people who have gone through the same thing I’ve been through.
This was by far the most difficult thing I ever did, writing about my attempted suicides and my thoughts on attempting suicide. I thought that I was going to get in trouble for speaking my mind but what I am doing is being brave for all of you who suffer from clinical depression, just like me.
In closing, 2015 was an unfortunate year for me and I am hoping that 2016 would be better. Here’s to a Happy New Year.

I know the holiday season is supposed to be a time of joy, but I am still depressed. I’m just so very tired. My family pisses me off on Christmas every year and I don’t know why. They have been so great to me all those years and I am still not happy. This year was a terrible year for me because my depression got the best of me; I have attempted suicide three times this year. And out of those three attempts, two have landed me in the hospital. And now it’s Christmas and I still have these running thoughts of taking my life; yet I don’t know why I am feeling this way. I’m supposed to be happy on Christmas but I’m not. Instead of sugarplums dancing in my head, I have thoughts of my lifeless body dangling at the end of the rope. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I can’t feel this way, not around Christmas.

This was the hardest thing for me to say because I am trying my best but it’s just not enough. I think there’s something wrong with me and I need help.

I am writing this because there are more people who are faced with holiday blues who live in pain, especially during this time of year. They say Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but it’s actually the most depressing time because there are still people out there who are faced with mental illnesses that prevent them from enjoying time with their family and friends. They shut everybody out for no reason because their depression becomes worse and they want to end their lives, just like me.

Imagine on Christmas morning when your parents call your name to open presents but you don’t answer because you’ve ended your life on Christmas Eve. They walk into your room only to find your lifeless body at the foot of the bed, or dangling from the ceiling, or with slits at your wrist, or a bullet hole in your head. Their Christmas morning has turned into a day of mourning. Imagine your family having to sell all their Christmas presents just to pay for your funeral, imagine your family crying endlessly every year because Christmas will not be the same without you and you know it. The holiday spirit will never come back, no more Christmas trees, no more presents, no more family dinners because you’re dead.

If you knew what it was like, then you would see why I am writing this. I have faced depression all year and it has gotten to the point where I attempted suicide twice. I pretended to be happy, I even tricked myself to feel this way. And I am not alone, there are others like me. So I have decided to write this blog, especially on Christmas, because I am trying to reach out to other people who is faced with suicidal depression. These people need me to help them in the right path. My life is too precious and I am not going to take it way. I am not going to make the same mistake again. I am going to fight this for all of you.

Everything will be alright. You just have to believe it. It’s never too late to turn things around. There is still hope. We just need to open up our hearts and let it come in.

This might be a sensitive subject to even talk about but I have had some thoughts about self harm, or self-mutilation, since I was in high school. There have been times in which I have had running thoughts of harming myself, but I try to brush it off as if it wasn’t a big deal.

What is self injury? It’s when someone decides to hurt his or herself to feel some degree of pain. The most common method of self-harm is when a person cuts his or her wrists. There have been moments where I attempted to cut my wrists recently. However, there are many other forms of self-harm: burning, self-inflicted beatings, overdosing on prescription drugs, or drinking poisonous chemicals. There is also self-disfigurement where a person would try to destroy or ruin his or her physical features to distinguish his or herself from everybody else. Like I’ve said before, I have had thoughts of mutilating my face beyond recognition. I can’t give any specific details on what I wanted to do but….I did have thoughts of chopping my hands and legs off and setting myself on fire in hopes that I would be rebuilt as a robot. Also, I even thought of burning the left side of my face to make myself look like Two-Face from The Dark Knight. Recently, I even had thoughts of carving out my left eye and replacing it with a clock and change my name to Clockwork, just like the Creepypasta character. I even thought of blinding myself by pouring bleach in my eyes so that I could be like Daredevil.

I know all those sound ridiculous. But I have been depressed for a very long time and I wanted to feel something that was in my control.

Now I have got that out in the open, I am hoping to seek help for my mental illness. I have been told that things will get better. I have been trying to keep a positive attitude about this sort of thing. I have even tried using methods to keep my state of mind such as taking my meds on a daily routine, tried listening to Binaural beats for meditation and positive thinking, and I am going to see a psychiatrist next month. With help, I can get to a point where I no longer want to harm myself anymore.

“It’s hopeless. I try so hard to do my best but I only make things worse. I cannot take anymore of this pressure. I just want out. I just want to be free. Free from all the misery, free from all my pain, free from all my suffering. Nothing I do makes a difference. I am just a screw up. I never get things right. I never learn anything. It’s all for nothing. I am worthless. Maybe I should end it here.”

Those are the words of a person who suffers from suicidal tendencies. It really hurts me just to see young people go through these extremes just because they think their lives are worthless. This is a very big issue and we need to open our eyes. More people are dying from suicide than gun violence and disease altogether. While everybody is busy ranting on about the election, or the Iranian nuclear deal, or even the climate change, there is one person who has claimed his or her life because they wanted just to be noticed. Well, they got noticed alright! Their names are in the newspaper in the obituaries. And nothing will change that.

I have been thinking about this. Now I know how sad and depressing life can be. I have my moments of feeling worthless. I have been friendzoned by my crush, I rarely talk to my family often, and school is becoming too hard for me. Yeah, I have had my problems and I still do. Each morning, I play it off like it’s no big deal but I keep fighting these demons when the thoughts provoke me. I have acted as though no cared about me that I was useless and there was no future for me. I told about my recent suicide attempt on March 13, 2015. I even considered a second attempt at suicide on August 7, 2015 when I tried to cut myself in my mom’s shower with one of her razors. I fought the urge to go through with it and I realized that I needed help. So I contacted the suicide prevention hotline and talked to the people who worked there. I cried so hard while I was on the line. They told me that I needed to let it all out. I was scared because I thought they said they were going to send the cops over to my house and my mom was on her way to take me to my doctor’s office to pick up my prescription.

Right now, at this very moment, I have been watching this video on suicide stories. There’s this particular one that got me thinking my world will not be the same if I’m gone. My mother would have to force herself to go to work just pay for my funeral, my friend Becca would have to give up her pageant career because she could not bear the fact that she would not see me again, my brother would not be strong anymore, my sister would have to quit her job because she would not carry on through the pain. All the people I went to high school with would also go to counseling for suicide prevention because they don’t want what would have happened to me to happen to them. They needed me more than I needed them. I would have realized this but I was too upset. And when I’m gone, their lives would be empty and meaningless. They would become worthless without me. This is something that we should all think about.

We need to realize that suicide is not the answer. It’s not taking your pain away, it’s giving it to everyone else around you. The emotional toll is unbearable because you’re gone and nothing can change that. Families and friends will blame themselves for your suicide, they will lose their way as you did. Even the person you love will try to take his or her life just because the guilt of not having you in his or her life would be unbearable. The pain would be too real and it would not go away.

If you feel like you want to kill yourself, stop. It’s not worth it. Think this through and take a step back. Reach out to someone who understands your pain. Talk to your family, talk to your friends, contact your local suicide hotline, and speak to a professional. It doesn’t hurt just to ask for help.

You are not worthless, you are worth it.

I am scared. I am scare of dying. But what I fear most is living. I fear that I will live my life in misery and despair. Now my fears have come to life. Whenever I feel sad and depressed, I try to fight my urges to slit my wrists. But the urge to hurt myself takes a toll on me. There are songs that I listen when I feel down: “Deteriorate” by Demon Hunter, “Never Too Late” by Three Days Grace, “Call Me” by Shinedown, and “Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin. Each of these songs mean so much to me in so many ways. Most of them usually talk about suicide and that’s what I am obsessed with nowadays. I feel these songs speak to me, especially Three Days Grace’s “Never To Late”.

This world will never be what I expected. And if I don’t belong, who would’ve guessed it? That first part makes me feel how I should’ve been and how I fit in it. The chorus sounds as though Adam is speaking to me. Even if I say it’ll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life. Now and again we try to just stay alive. Maybe we’ll turn it around because it’s not too late. It’s never too late. Perhaps, it’s not too late for me. The song goes on about how we can’t get back the world we knew. That is true. There are times we cannot repeat. I really wish I could go back in time and relive all the precious memories I had but I can’t. That’s the way things are. All we have to do is move forward. But that’s okay because we can always turn things around and that is what I am willing to do. Because it’s not too late for me. It’s never too late.

“Deteriorate” by Demon Hunter is all about time and death. That is the song that I’ve been listening for when I’m depressed. Time has had its way with me and I feel that I was unable to lift myself from my bed. This song usually refers to dealing with death and how it’s the quickest sense of relief. “I need a heart that carries on through the pain when the walls start collapsing again.” That part gets to me because I have prayed to God to “give me a soul that never ceases to follow despite the infection within”. Yes, I am reciting the lyrics to the song because I can relate to them in some way. I’m also “awaiting my end, breathing in the day that finds me anew.” And I will know that my redemption will begin.

“Dear Agony” by Breaking Benjamin is about dealing with death. I have dealt with death in my life and sometimes I wonder when I will die. I live with my agony and I just want it to let go of me. I have an enemy beneath my skin. I am fighting for my last breath until I could no longer breath any longer. The faceless enemy is Death and I battle him each day. I just want Death to leave me alone. Is this the way it’s gotta be? I feel nothing anymore.

Then there’s Shinedown’s “Call Me”. I said that I would change my ways and God knows that I have tried so many times. I did lose my life when I lost my best friend Charlotte. When she died, part of me died with her. I have to make the choices that are not mine as well. I probably won’t be able to stay in one place for a long period of time. If I do live my life, that is the way it should be. I always keep those whom I loved inside of me. There have been friends and families that have helped me heal my life and my heart. They also know that I have tried so many times to change my ways. I’m still trying so hard to do so and maybe I would succeed.

It’s all about learning how to deal with life’s struggles and these songs have helped me do so. I have to learn how to handle things on my own now. That is all I can say at this moment. I am going to turn my life around and I will redeem myself in the eyes of the lord. Now I will be on my way.

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